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Wednesday, May 25, 2016
Inserts 5-25-2016






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home : considered comment : january 2009 May 25, 2016

1/27/2009 8:00:00 AM
TRAVEL WITHOUT TICKETS REQUIRES PLANNING
BY JACK K. OVERMYER
President and Owner, The Sentinel

Three engineers and three accountants were traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each bought tickets and watched as the three engineers bought only one ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked an accountant.

"Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.

They all boarded the train. The accountants took their respective seats, but the three engineers all crammed into a rest room and closed the door behind them. Shortly after the train departed, the conductor came around collecting tickets. He knocked on the restroom door and said, "Ticket, please." The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took it and moved on.

The accountants saw this and agreed it was a quite clever idea. So, after the conference, the accountants decided to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they got to the station, they bought a single ticket for the return trip.

To their astonishment, the engineers didn't buy a ticket at all. "How are you going to ride without a ticket?" said one perplexed accountant.

"Watch and you'll see," answered an engineer.

When they boarded the train, the three accountants crammed into a restroom and the three engineers crammed into another one nearby. The train departed.

Shortly afterward, one of the engineers left his restroom and walked over to the restroom where the accountants were hiding. He knocked on the door and said, "Ticket, please."



A rich man throws a massive party for his 50th birthday. During this party, he grabs the microphone and announces to his guests that down in the garden of his mansion he has a swimming pool with a great white shark in it.

"I will give anything that I own to the man who swims across that pool."

So the party continues with no events in the pool until suddenly, there is a great splash and all the guests of the party run to the pool to see what has happened.

There, a man is swimming as hard as he can. A fin suddenly comes out of the water and jaws are snapping but this guy just keeps on going. The shark is gaining on him and the guy reaches the end and gets out of the pool, exhausted.

The rich host grabs the microphone and says, "I am a man of my word. Anything of mine I will give: my Ferraris, my house, absolutely anything, for you are the bravest man I have ever seen. So, sir, what will it be?"

The guy grabs the microphone and says, "Why don't we start with the name of the jackass who pushed me in!"



In rural Carbon County, Pa., a group of men were drinking beer and discharging firearms from the rear deck of a home owned by Irving Michaels, age 27.

The men were firing at a raccoon that was wandering by, but the beer apparently impaired their aim and, despite the estimated 35 shots which the group fired, the animal escaped into a 3-foot diameter drainage pipe some 100 feet away from Michaels' deck.

Determined to terminate the animal, Michaels retrieved a can of gasoline and poured some down the pipe, intending to smoke the animal out. After several unsuccessful attempts to ignite the fuel, Michaels emptied the entire 5 gallons down the pipe and tried to ignite it again, to no avail.

Not one to admit defeat by wildlife, the determined Michaels proceeded to slide feet-first approximately 15 feet down the sloping pipe to toss the match. The subsequent, rapidly expanding fireball propelled Michaels back the way he had come, though at a much higher rate of speed.

He exited the angled pipe "like a Polaris missile leaves a submarine," witness Joseph McFadden, 31, told police. Michaels was launched directly over his own home, right over the heads of his astonished friends, onto his front lawn. In all, he traveled over 200 feet through the air. "There was a Doppler Effect to his scream as he flew over us," McFadden reported, "followed by a loud thud."

Amazingly, he suffered only minor injuries. "It was actually pretty cool," Michaels said, "like when they shoot someone out of a cannon at the circus. I'd do it again if I was sure I wouldn't get hurt."





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