|3/13/2007 2:18:00 PM|
Some people simply don't ask enough questions
|A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.|
"I'd like to be six again," she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling, and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being six again?"
Her eyes opened wide and her expression suddenly changed.
"I was talking about my dress size, you idiot!!"
You've probably heard about Murphy's Law, which states that things will go wrong in any given situation, if you give them a chance. Here are some of the lesser known of those:
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong.
If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog.
If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
Someone has advanced the opinion that the letter "e" is the most unfortunate character in the English alphabet because it is always out of cash, forever in debt, never out of danger, and in hell all the time.
For some reason he overlooked the fortunates of the letter, the fact that "e" is never in war and always in peace. It is the beginning of existence, the commencement of ease, and the end of trouble.
Without it there would be no meat, no life and no heaven. It's the center of honesty, makes love perfect and without it there would be no editors or news.
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