An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.

One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided on an experiment. He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:

1. A Bible.

2. A silver dollar.

3. A bottle of whisky.

4. A Playboy magazine.

"I'll hide behind the door when he comes home from school today," the old preacher said to himself, and see which object he picks up.

"If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me, and what a blessing that would be!

"If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a business man, and that would be okay, too.

"But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunken bum, and Lord, what a shame that would be.

"And worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he's going to be a skirt-chasing womanizer."

The old man waited anxiously, and as soon as he heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling, he headed for his hiding place in his son's room.

The boy entered the room, tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table.

With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them. Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm. He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket. He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink, while he admired this month's centerfold in the magazine.

"Lord have mercy," the old preacher thought, disgustedly, "he's gonna run for Congress."



A bent-over old lady hobbled into a doctor's office. Within minutes, she came out again but, miraculously, she was standing up as straight as could be.

A man in the waiting room who had been watching her said in amazement, "My goodness, what did the doctor do to you?"

"He gave me a longer cane!" the old lady replied.



A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three very large, leathered bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spat into the old man's milk and then he too took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"

The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either; he just backed his big-rig over three motorcycles."



It was meal time during an airline flight. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.

"What are my choices?" Greg asked.

"Yes or no."