A couple were celebrating 50 years together. Their three kids, all of whom were very successful, agreed to come to a Sunday dinner in their honor. And so they did and all of them, parents and children, were seated at the table when son number one spoke up.

"Happy Anniversary, Mom and Dad," he said. "I love you both so much and I am sorry that I was running late in getting here. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient and you know how that is, so I didn't have time to get you a gift."

"Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."
Son number two then spoke to his parents, "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Los Angeles between depositions and also didn't have time to shop for you. I regret it and I apologize for it."

"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."

Just then the daughter spoke. "Happy anniversary! I'm sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."

After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were very poor when we started out to make a family but with great effort and by saving every penny we could, we were able to send each of you to college.

"Throughout the years your mother and I knew that we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."
The three children gasped and all said, "Oh, that surely can't be true. If it were, it would mean that we all are bastards!"

"Yes, that's true," said the father. "And cheap ones too."



Heidi's husband was on the road with his sales job but since his wife was pregnant with their second child he promised to make this trip a short one.
But Heidi went into labor and she called for emergency help. Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn, the 2-year-old daughter, to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked.

Heidi pushed and pushed, and finally Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and asked the wide-eyed 2-year-old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Katelyn quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place. Smack his butt again."



A man from Knoxville, Tenn., wanted to expand the line of merchandise in his store, so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find. After arriving in Paris (this being his first trip to the French capital), he met with some manufacturers and finally selected a line that he thought would sell well back home in Tennessee.

To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bistro and have some wine. As he sat enjoying the wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the one other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.

Before long, a beautiful young Parisian woman came to his table, asked him something in French (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the chair.

He invited her to sit down. He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not understand him so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate, he took a napkin and drew a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her. She nodded, and he ordered wine for her.

After sitting together at the table for awhile, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.

They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

He was astonished and to this day, he has no idea how she figured out that he was in the furniture business.