She learned to quilt on Monday.

Her stitches all were very fine.

She forgot to thaw out dinner.

So we went out to dine.

She quilted miniatures on Tuesday.

She says they are a must.

They really were quite lovely.

But she forgot to dust.

On Wednesday it was a sampler.

She says stippling's fun.

What highlights! What shadows!

But the laundry wasn't done.

Nine patches were on Thursday,

Green, yellow, blue and red.

I guess she really was engrossed;

She never made the bed.

     

It was wall hangings on Friday,

In colors she adores.

It never bothered her at all,

That crumbs were on the floors.

I found a maid on Saturday,

My week is now complete.

My wife can quilt the hours away;

The house will still be neat.

Well, now it's only Sunday,

I think I'm about to wilt.

I cursed, I raved, I ranted,

Cause the maid has learned to quilt!



Mom and Dad were watching TV when Mom said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."

She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches, rinsed out the popcorn bowls, took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes into the dryer, put a load of clothes into the wash, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button. She picked up the newspapers strewn on the floor, picked up the game pieces left on the table and put the telephone book back into the drawer. She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom. She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the field trip and pulled a textbook out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend, addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her purse.

She then washed her face, put on moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and trimmed her nails. Her husband called out, "I thought you were going to bed."

"I'm on my way," she said.

She put some water into the dog's dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out a bedside lamp, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks in the hamper and had a brief conversation with the child still up doing homework.

In the bedroom, she set the alarm, laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her list of things to do for tomorrow.

About that time, her husband turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular "I'm going to bed."

And he did.

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