Women are difficult to figure out, it's true, and we men constantly are receiving advice (much of it worthless) upon how to get along with them. However, here's an exercise that really will help. It takes up the frequent words that women use and interprets and translates their meanings. Read on then, fellow men, and acquire wisdom. The words: 

FINE

This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "Fine" to describe how a woman looks; this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES

This is a half hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last until you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING

This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" usually is used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and will end with "Fine."

GO AHEAD

At some point in the near future, you are going  to be in some mighty big trouble.

GO AHEAD (WITH RAISED EYEBROWS)

This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and end up with the word "Fine."

GO AHEAD (WITH NORMAL EYEBROWS)

This means "I give up" or "Do what you want because I don't care." You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH 

This actually is not a word but a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing."

SOFT SIGH

Again, not a word but a nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is not to move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" often is used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

PLEASE DO

This is not a statement. It is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay."

THANKS

A woman is thanking you. Do not faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT

This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she really is ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way and it will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh" as she only will tell you "Nothing."

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