1. How can you arrange for two people to stand on the same piece of newspaper and yet be unable to touch each other without stepping off the newspaper?

2. How many 3-cent stamps are there in a dozen?

3. A rope ladder hangs over the side of a ship. The rungs are one foot apart and the ladder is 12 feet long. The tide is rising at four inches an hour. How long will it take before the first four rungs of the ladder are under water?

4. Which would you rather have, a trunk full of nickels or a trunk half full of dimes?

5. Steve has three piles of sand and Mike has four piles of sand. If they put them all together, how many do they have?

6. In which sport are the shoes made entirely of metal?

7. If the Vice President of the United States should die, who would be President?

8. How can you throw a golf ball with all your might and - without hitting a wall or any other obstruction - have the ball stop and come right back to you?

9. Find the English word that can be formed from all these letters PNLLEEEESSSSS

ANSWERS

1. Slide the newspaper half way under a closed door and ask the two people to stand on the bit of newspaper on their side of the door.

2. There are twelve (not four).

3. Actually, the ladder will rise with the ship!

4. Dimes are smaller than nickels, so choose the dimes!

5. If they put them all together, there will be one pile.

6. Horse racing. How about horse shoes?

7. The President.

8. Throw the ball straight up.

9. Sleeplessness



In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided to contact the local ACLU about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while the atheists had no holiday to celebrate.

The ACLU jumped on the opportunity once again to pick up the cause of the godless and assigned their sharpest attorneys to the case.

The case was brought before a wise judge who after listening to the long, passionate presentation of the ACLU lawyers, promptly banged his gavel and declared, "Case dismissed!"

The lead ACLU lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, "Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Surely the Christians have Christmas, Easter and many other observances. And the Jews - why in addition to Passover they have Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, and yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!"

The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said "Obviously your client is too confused to know about, or for that matter, even celebrate the atheists' holiday!"

The ACLU lawyer pompously said "We are aware of no such holiday for atheists, just when might that be, your honor?"

The judge said "Well it comes every year on exactly the same date - April 1st!"



This story came from a blonde friend of mine:

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive double-pane energy efficient kind.

But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work had been completed a whole year ago and I had yet to pay for them.

Boy, oh boy, did we go around! Just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid.

So, I proceeded to tell him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year ... that in one year the windows would pay for themselves.

There was silence on the other end of the line, so I just hung up and I haven't heard back.

Guess I won that stupid argument.