While walking down the street one day a U.S. senator is hit tragically by a truck, causing his death. His soul arrives in Heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," says the man.

"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll have to do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend Eternity."

"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the senator.

"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down into Hell.

The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and well dressed.

They run to greet him, shake his hand, and then all of them reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich in their high offices. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.

Also present is the Devil, a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They all are enjoying themselves so much that, before the senator realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell as he enters the elevator.

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.

"Now it's time to visit Heaven."

So, 24 hours more pass with the politician joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing musical instruments, singing and just generally enjoying one another's company.

They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.

"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your Eternity."

The senator reflects for a minute, then answers: "Well, I would never have said it before, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."

So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. When the doors of the elevator open he sees that he's in the middle of land that is barren and covered with waste and garbage.

He sees all his friends again but this time they are dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in bags. The Devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.

"I don't understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now all there is is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?"

The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Now you cast your vote - and it was for us!"



There was a little old lady who had become nearly blind. She had three sons and each wanted to prove which of the three was the best for her.

So the first son bought her a 15-room mansion thinking this surely would be the best any of them could offer her.

The second son bought her a beautiful Mercedes with a chauffeur included, thinking he surely would win her approval.

Son No. 3 had to do something even better than these so he bought her a parrot that had been trained for 15 years to memorize the entire Bible. You could mention any verse in the Bible and the parrot could quote it word for word. How useful his nearly blind mother would find that to be, thought the son.

After the gifts were presented, the old lady told the first son, "Dear, the house is just gorgeous but it's really much too big for me. I only live in one room, and it's much too large for me to clean and take care of. I really don't need the house, but thank you anyway."

Then she explained to her second son, "Son, the car is beautiful, it has everything you could ever want on it, but I don't drive and I really don't like that driver, so please return the car."

Next, she went to son number three and said, "Son, I want to thank you for that thoughtful gift. The chicken was small, but delicious."