First, consider the dog's personality.

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb?

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code.

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!

Rottweiler: Make me.

Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.

Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!

German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation.

Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture.

Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb?

Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there.

Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?

Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle.

Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.

The Cat's Answer: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner and a massage?



Sometimes profound thoughts can be expressed in just one line:

I think that if aliens ever visit earth, we should act superior to them; I mean, sure they can travel through space faster than the speed of light, but I bet they don't know even one good blonde joke.

I sleep better at night knowing that scientists can clone sheep.

There are 12 months in the year. That's kind of cool, because it makes life a little more predictable.

If you're only as old as you feel, how come I can't retire yet?

I don't mind taking a risk, as long as I know everything will turn out OK.

And I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings. And I hate people like that!

Or, sometimes it can be said even more briefly:

Gravity always gets me down.

This statement is false.

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

It's bad luck to be superstitious.

According to my best recollection, I don't remember.

Honk if you like peace and quiet.

The Big Bang Theory: God Spoke and Bang! it happened.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

A day without sunshine is like, night.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!

Gravity is not just a good idea, it's the law!

Life is too complicated in the morning.

We are all part of the ultimate statistic: 10 out of 10 die.

Nobody's perfect and I'm a Nobody.

Ask me about my vow of silence.